Edit: I have, for the most part, realized that this post was an error.  After a few more hours of thought, I have come to the conclusion that implementation detection and redefining the load function are tasks eminently better fitted to an external library than to a modification to the core language.  While I still believe that Unicode and Unix shebangs are desirable features in the core language, enough implementations support these things that I don’t really feel the need to raise a fuss about it.